The truth behind a fulfilling life
So often, I hear people saying things such as: "I wish I could get up early in the morning"; "I wish I did more exercise"; "I wish I was more productive"... and so often I wonder, what is it that is stopping these people? Because, surely, if you want something badly enough, then you will make it happen. But, of course, reality is quite different.
One of my mottos in life is: "If you believe, you will achieve." In this blog, I wanted to focus on simple ways of applying positive psychology into our everyday lives so that we can live life to the fullest and eliminate procrastination from our days.
Positive psychology focuses on becoming the best that we possibly can be, rather than focusing on the negative, such as the causes and effects of mental illnesses. Therefore, this area of research can be applied to anyone and everyone; it is not limited to those recovering from a mental illness.
An expert in this field is Terry Orlick, who wrote the popular book: 'In Pursuit of Excellence'. This is a great read for anyone interested in increasing their productivity and improving their state of mind. Orlick (2015) describes seven prerequisites that we should follow if we are wanting to excel in any area in life:
Choose to pursue your highest level of excellence
Choose to act in positive ways every day
Focus in positive ways every day
Focus in fully connected ways every day
Act on the positive lessons you are learning every day
Embrace the simplest joys in every part of your life every day
Appreciate the people who love you and support you in your ongoing journey to personal and performance excellence
Happiness
“What would really satisfy people is not getting rich or slim, but feeling good about their lives.” - Csikszentmihalyi (2008)
In his book 'Flow' Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi explores the significance of happiness among humans. He draws upon Aristotle, who concluded (over 2000 years ago) that more than anything else, people seek happiness.
Csikszentmihalyi explains that the reason that we value goals such as beauty, money and power so highly, is because we believe that they will make us happy. He explains that happiness itself does not simply happen, but, rather, it is "a condition that must be prepared for, cultivated, and defended privately by each person" (Csikszentmihalyi, 2008). Essentially, this concept fits in with the idea that money cannot buy happiness.
In order to achieve happiness, it is necessary to gain "control over the contents of our consciousness". As Csikszentmihalyi (2008) explains, "In the quest for happiness, partial solutions don’t work." Much of our lives remain out of our control. However, we can control our consciousness. Since the ability to control one's consciousness is such an individualised task, no blog nor article is able to give you recipes on how to be happy, although you do not have to look far to find people attempting to do exactly that.
“It is by being fully involved with every detail of our lives, whether good or bad, that we find happiness, not by trying to look for it directly.” - Csikszentmihalyi (2008)
Positive Psychology
"Positive psychology is the scientific study of what makes life most worth living” - Peterson (2008)
Positive psychology is a very important field of research with its focus based on human strengths, as oppose to weaknesses. The central objective of positive psychology is enabling the average human to become 'great'. It does not, as with many other forms of psychology, focus on repairing the bad or bringing those who are struggling up to normal.
The founder of the positive psychology movement, Martin Seligman, grounded the psychological theory of "learned helplessness". This theory is essentially about how humans and animals can learn to become helpless and feel they have no control over their lives. As a result of this, Seligman started to turn to traits, characteristics and perspectives that could be learned to enable people to lead more fulfilling, optimistic lives. As President of the American Psychological Association, Seligman altered the direction of psychology from the narrow focus of negativity to his newly proposed subfield of psychology: positive psychology. Areas within this field include: happiness, wellbeing, exceptionalism, strengths and flourishing (Ackerman, 2018).
Self Belief
“I have never met an Olympic champion, world champion, or world leader in any high-performance field who did not decide that he or she was going to go after his or her goals with full intensity and absolute focus.”- Terry Orlick
Csikszentmihalyi (2008) explains how gaining control over our lives and pushing ourselves can lead to optimal experiences and, thus, happiness. Although these experiences may be unpleasant at the time, for example an athlete may experience pain and exhaustion whilst running their fastest marathon, those moments may also be the best moments of their life.
"The best moments usually occur when a person's body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile." - Csikszentmihalyi (2008)
Optimal experiences might also be described as 'flow' experiences. During flow, the mind is focused entirely on the activity at hand. Flow activities involve a clear balance between challenge and skill, and include clear goals and measurements for success, and include activities such as: rock climbing, running, playing an instrument and even surgery.
Attention
Attention “is an energy under our control". Therefore, "it is our most important tool in the task of improving the quality of experience” (Csikszentmihalyi, 2008). Attention can also be linked with focus. In highly pressured situations, it may become difficult to maintain our focus due to numerous distractions. However, if we are aware of these distractions, we can re-focus on what it is we are trying to achieve (see NYO Canada, 2020).
Looking to the future
“We grow up believing that what counts most in our lives is that which will occur in the future.”- Csikszentmihalyi (2008)
As a result of the structure of contemporary society, we are frequently made aware that success will occur later in life. For instance, being told that doing well in school will mean that you will have a successful career in the future. It is clear that both the structure of contemporary society, as well as our genetic instincts, play a part in how we go about our lives.
We can now go full circle to the concept of "learned helplessness", since it is clear that allowing these factors to control our lives means that we are unable to control our consciousness and live a fulfilling life. The ability to control our consciousness, however, means that we are able to achieve autonomy and gain control over our lives, leading to happiness.
"In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take."- Lewis Carrol
Sources used:
Ackerman, C.E. (2018) What is Positive Psychology and Why is it Important? Available at: https://positivepsychology.com/what-is-positive-psychology-definition/ [Accessed: 29.06.2022].
Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2008) Flow: the psychology of optimal experience. New York: Harper Perennial Modern Classics.
NYO Canada (2020) Sports Psychology and Music [Online video] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2UYjSNSaHI. [Accessed: 26.06.2022].
Orlick, T. (2015) In Pursuit of Excellence. 5th ed. Champaign, Illinois: Human Kinetics.
Peterson, C. (2008). What is positive psychology, and what is it not? Psychology Today. Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-good-life/200805/what-is-positive-psychology-and-what-is-it-not
